tour de badass

I would like everyone to know that I am now an awesomely skilled mountain biker. Hard to believe, I know. But I'm pretty sure all biking here would be considered mountain biking at home. And I have become an expert in changing bike tires (front AND back, thank you) and can ride on all surfaces: mud, dirt, sand, two inch deep gravel, water, mud caked into tire track formations, and, on special occasions, pavement. And I do so with school books hanging off of my handlebars, while dodging chickens, goats, dogs, children, donkey carts, motos, cars, pedestrians, cows, and more goats. I'm going to go now and ride my bike home through some gravel and a couple of water holes, while trying not to hit the cows on my street.